You can and certainly should set boundaries, tell your child “no,” and discipline them. You just need to wait until the functionality of the prefrontal cortex is restored if you want those things to actually benefit your child.

Surgical masks are not intended to be used more than once. If your surgical mask is damaged or soiled, or if breathing through the mask becomes difficult, you should remove it, discard it safely, and replace it with a new one. To safely discard your surgical mask, place it in a plastic bag and put it in the trash. Wash your hands after handling the used mask.

If you’re lucky enough to get a moment where your child says “YES!” to your reflection, it opens an opportunity for you to validate your child’s feelings then and help them calm down.

When the brain is engaged in fight-or-flight, there is a perceived threat. During that time, reasoning attempts are ineffective. Often, showing empathy will also make things worse.

However, ignore any aggressive statements they make towards you. For example, if your child yells, “You’re the worst mommy in the world!” do not respond or react.

Equally important to being able to identify each stage of the escalation cycle is knowing which non-violent crisis intervention strategies work for each stage.

What’s inside this article: An overview of the escalation cycle, how the brain functions during different emotional states, and evidence-based de-escalation strategies that are used in non-violent crisis intervention to defuse meltdowns and outbursts.

Companies interested in developing NIOSH-approved respirators should be aware of FDA’s intention to issue in FY2025 a draft guidance for public comment, "Enforcement Discretion Policy for Premarket and Other Requirements for NIOSH-Approved Air Purifying Respirators", as noted on CDRH’s A-list published on October 10, 2024 (CDRH Proposed Guidances for Fiscal Year 2025 (FY2025) | FDA), which may impact development plans and requests for FDA feedback.

The FDA has a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) with CDC NIOSH which outlines the framework for coordination and collaboration between the FDA and NIOSH for regulation of this subset of N95 respirators.

This technique doesn’t mean your child “gets away with” the behavior. Once they’re calm and more likely to respond with reason and logic, you can re-address the original issue, if appropriate.

On Oct. 1, 2024, the FDA began implementing a reorganization impacting many parts of the agency. We are in the process of updating FDA.gov content to reflect these changes.

Sometimes, when children become extremely overwhelmed or they’re experiencing sensory overload, they have a meltdown where they lose control over their behaviors. This is an automatic nervous system response and not something our kids can consciously control.

The diagram below is a simplified explanation of how various sections of the brain are used and how that affects emotional regulation.

In a heightened emotional state like a meltdown, feeling trapped or closed in by you can further escalate the situation.

You don’t want your child to feel shame for having emotions. We can learn a lot from emotions. It’s the actions that need to change.

These strategies, taught by the Crisis Prevention Institute, help keep everyone safe during meltdowns, and you should use them in addition to your de-escalation strategies.

Minimize this stimulation by dimming lights, turning the TV down or off, and having other people leave the room if possible.

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Avoid saying things like, “I know you wanted me to pick you up from school, but I have to work late.” or “Your pink shirt is in the washer, so I can’t have it ready in time; that’s why you need to wear a different shirt.”

However, some N95 respirators are intended for use in a healthcare setting. Specifically, single-use, disposable respiratory protective devices used and worn by healthcare personnel during procedures to protect both the patient and healthcare personnel from the transfer of microorganisms, body fluids, and particulate material. These surgical N95 respirators are class II devices regulated by the FDA, under 21 CFR 878.4040, and CDC NIOSH under 42 CFR Part 84.

It’s also a good idea to have a safe, calming space where your child can go to remove themselves from the situation when they’re overstimulated.

Include a “because” when you validate instead of a “but” – this is part of a strategy known as emotion coaching. You can read more on that here.

N95 respirators and surgical masks are examples of personal protective equipment that are used to protect the wearer from particles or from liquid contaminating the face. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) also regulates N95 respirators. The Department of Labor's Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) regulates entities for compliance with worker safety rules and OSHA standards, including, for example, the proper use of respirators in different work environments.

Ask your child if they want to go for a quick walk or movement break. You can even try this 7-minute HIIT workout for kids or these animal-theme gross motor skill activity cards if your child is open to it.

It takes a lot of practice and pre-teaching for your child to be able to self-regulate with deep breathing exercises. However, the work can pay off.

While a surgical mask may be effective in blocking splashes and large-particle droplets, a face mask, by design, it does not filter or block very small particles in the air that may be transmitted by coughs, sneezes, or certain medical procedures. Surgical masks also do not provide complete protection from germs and other contaminants because of the loose fit between the surface of the mask and your face.

These situations are stressful for everyone involved and potentially dangerous for both bystanders and your child. Knowing some de-escalation strategies will help you avoid a potential crisis.

During a meltdown, the brain enters survival mode. It shuts down the thinking part of the brain and simply reacts to a threat (whether perceived or real).

This is why, during times when the hindbrain is in control, it’s important to remain calm and ensure safety until the forebrain is back in control.

Children can suddenly become a lot more likely to cooperate when they don’t feel like they are being “forced” to do something. This is especially true for children with pathological demand avoidance.

Sometimes, too many demands can actually cause a meltdown in the first place, especially if your child has pathological demand avoidance. But regardless of the cause, avoid making more demands during dysregulated situations.

Everybody has the right to feel a certain way about any given situation. One thing you never want to do is shame your child for how they’re feeling.

During a meltdown, the fight-or-flight instinct takes over, and the brain is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, so they literally cannot access the part of their brain that thinks logically.

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Stop talking altogether to both your child and anyone else around you. I also try to take slow, deep breaths when I’m trying this strategy. Breathe deeply enough that it’s audible in the silence.

As you try out these methods and learn how your child responds, you will find the best techniques for you. You may also want to take some time to read: 8 Verbal De-Escalation Techniques for Managing Challenging Behavior & Meltdowns.

A surgical mask is a loose-fitting, disposable device that creates a physical barrier between the mouth and nose of the wearer and potential contaminants in the immediate environment. Surgical masks are regulated under 21 CFR 878.4040. Surgical masks are not to be shared and may be labeled as surgical, isolation, dental, or medical procedure masks. They may come with or without a face shield. These are sometimes referred to as face masks, as described above, although not all face masks are regulated as surgical masks.

If your child will sit, sit with them. If not, kneel so you’re at eye level with them when communicating. (Although it’s usually best to keep communication to a minimum).

Try distracting your child from the current situation by offering them a favorite toy, a preferred calming activity, or showing them a funny video you think they would like.

If worn properly, a surgical mask is meant to help block large-particle droplets, splashes, sprays, or splatter that may contain germs (viruses and bacteria), keeping it from reaching your mouth and nose. Surgical masks may also help reduce exposure of your saliva and respiratory secretions to others.

N95s respirators regulated under product code MSH are class II medical devices exempt from 510(k) premarket notification, unless:

This 5-minute bio-feedback activity (done when everyone is calm) is a great way to show your child how deep breathing helps you calm down; it’s called How low can you go?

Surgical N95 Respirators are commonly used in healthcare settings and are a subset of N95 Filtering Facepiece Respirators (FFRs), often referred to as N95s.

The success rate of prevention is far greater than that of de-escalation. However, sometimes it’s unavoidable, so it’s important to know some effective de-escalation strategies as well.

If your child regularly defaults to aggressive communication when they’re angry, this is a great communication printable to try (when they’re calm – not as a de-escalation technique): Assertive vs Aggressive Communication

But during these situations, your child isn’t thinking logically at all. Their brain is instinctually reacting, so anything that seems threatening will worsen the situation.

For example: “It makes sense that you’re upset right now because you really wanted the orange cup, not the blue cup – and because it’s hard not to get what you want sometimes.”

If your child asks a question during a meltdown, even if it’s asked inappropriately or rudely, provide a calm and concise answer.

Eventually, with frequent practice, while calm, you will be able to prompt your child to do deep breathing exercises when they are upset or to model that breathing and have them imitate you.

Great article for any parent. Controlling our own reactions is helpful not only because it keeps things calmer but the brunt of the emotion is lessened bc I am monitoring my thoughts and actions too.

Barrier face coverings may be made from a variety of materials that are not flammable. By definition, a barrier face covering should meet the particulate filtration efficiency, airflow resistance, and leakage assessment recommendations as described in ASTM F3502-21.

Although meltdowns may seem unpredictable or like they happen out of nowhere, there is a clear pattern that happens before, after, and during a meltdown.

If you can get your child to use this de-escalation technique in the moment, it works quite quickly. If not, this is something you can do together during the post-crisis depletion or recovery phase of the meltdown.

This shows your child that you’re on their side. Even if you don’t think they have a “reason” to be upset, they obviously are, so try to put yourself in their shoes.

Unless your child asks, keep back at least 3 feet from them. Do not try to touch them, hug them, or pick them up (unless they’re in danger).

If your child is screaming, do not try yelling so they can hear you. Wait until they stop, and then speak to them calmly and empathetically.

A lot of parents question why I advise avoiding saying no or trying to reason with a child during a meltdown. This diagram helps make it more clear.

An N95 respirator is a respiratory protective device designed to achieve a very close facial fit and very efficient filtration of airborne particles. Note that the edges of the respirator are designed to form a seal around the nose and mouth. Surgical N95 Respirators are commonly used in healthcare settings and are a subset of N95 Filtering Facepiece Respirators (FFRs), often referred to as N95s.

An N95 respirator is a respiratory protective device designed to achieve a very close facial fit and very efficient filtration of airborne particles. Note that the edges of the respirator are designed to form a seal around the nose and mouth.

It’s like having an alarm system on your home to protect you from burglars, but it’s so sensitive that it goes off any time a bird lands on your roof.

This could mean suggesting a short walk or offering your child a break in a calm down corner. These distractions also change their environment and may remove them from the trigger or help them to reset.

Acknowledge this right by saying, “You’re right, I can’t make you do …” then explain why you would like them to choose to do what is asked and provide a logical consequence.

It helps me to remain calm and also models a healthy calming strategy for my children – even if they aren’t ready to use one.

Most N95 respirators are manufactured for use in construction and other industrial type jobs that expose workers to dust and small particles. They are regulated by the National Personal Protective Technology Laboratory (NPPTL) in the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), which is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

It is important to recognize that the optimal way to prevent transmission of microorganisms, such as viruses, is to use a combination of interventions from across the hierarchy of controls, not just PPE alone.

You’re allowed to set boundaries and allow them to choose. However, keep in mind that this strategy is only effective when used early. If your child is melting down, they won’t be responsive to logical consequences.

A face mask is a product that covers the wearer's nose and mouth. Face masks are for use as source control by the general public and health care personnel (HCP) in accordance with CDC recommendations, and are not personal protective equipment. Face masks may or may not meet any fluid barrier or filtration efficiency levels; therefore, they are not a substitute for N95 respirators or other Filtering Facepiece Respirators (FFRs), which provide respiratory protection to the wearer, or for surgical masks, which provide fluid barrier protection to the wearer.

Thank you for the free printables! My grand-daughter is coming from interstate to visit, and we'd love to be more prepared for any emotional outbursts that she may display.

Also, avoid lecturing or trying to solve their problems for them at the moment. This conversation needs to come later when they’re calm again.

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During a meltdown, the fight or flight instinct is activated – movement like going for a walk can “trick” your brain into feeling that it’s chosen “flight” and help you start calming down.

Say things like, “So you are saying you are upset because you really wanted your pink shirt today?” or ” You don’t want your Aunt to pick you up from school. Do I have this right?”

Surgical masks are made in different thicknesses and with different ability to protect you from contact with liquids. These properties may also affect how easily you can breathe through the face mask and how well the surgical mask protects you.

Place all of your other expectations on hold temporarily. The only thing that matters in the present moment is helping your child calm down.

This is a primal survival instinct known as fight or flight. When faced with true danger, if the thinking part of our brain was functioning, we’d hesitate and/or try to use logic, and it could cost us our lives.

Although some of these techniques may seem more like “what not to do”, sometimes our own responses and emotions do make things worse.

Raising an Extraordinary Person provides social-emotional learning resources, educational tools, positive behavioral support, and sensory resources for parents, educators, and therapists of neurodiverse children

A barrier face covering, as described in ASTM F3502-21, is a product worn on the face specifically covering at least the wearer's nose and mouth, with the primary purpose of providing source control and to provide a degree of particulate filtration to reduce the amount of inhaled particulate material. Barrier face coverings are not a substitute for N95 respirators and other Filtering Facepiece Respirators (FFRs), which provide respiratory protection to the wearer, or for surgical masks, which provide fluid barrier and particulate material protection to the wearer.

The escalation cycle is something I talk about in a lot of my posts, and familiarizing yourself with each of the stages and the different strategies for each stage will help you not only respond to meltdowns but prevent them from happening altogether.

Of course, I’m not suggesting you say yes to whatever they want. Simply offer more open-ended answers like “We can plan a time to do that” or “That’s something we can talk about when everybody is calm.“

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The truth is, unless these skills are taught to your child when they’re calm, they aren’t going to work when they’re upset.

Demands include telling your child repeatedly to “stop,” “calm down,” or “snap out of it” isn’t going to make them stop or calm down or snap out of it. It doesn’t matter how nicely or assertively you ask.

Once the fight or flight instinct is activated, it’s important to understand that your child’s brain is perceiving a threat. They need reassurance that they are safe.

Great list! I’m surprised it doesn’t mention holding the child in a firm hug and rocking them side to side or the use of a weighted blanket though. I have found both of these to be effective.

Download these de-escalation strategies as an 8.5 x 11-inch poster below. You can use this poster to display as a visual reminder or to pass out as a handout.

A surgical mask is a loose-fitting, disposable device that creates a physical barrier between the mouth and nose of the wearer and potential contaminants in the immediate environment. These are often referred to as face masks, although not all face masks are regulated as surgical masks. Note that the edges of the mask are not designed to form a seal around the nose and mouth.

Don’t stand over them, looking down at them as you talk. It gives off a vibe of superiority that isn’t helpful at the moment. It also can feel threatening.