Low standardsin a relationship

Sacrifices are essential to maintain a healthy relationship, where both partners sometimes put the other’s needs first. But when only one person consistently sacrifices with no reciprocity, it can drain mental health, leading to emotional exhaustion, resentment, and a loss of identity, leaving them feeling empty and undervalued. “I wasn’t happy, but I still tried because I wanted to give it a chance (and another and another and another). In the end, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore,” shared a Reddit user.

Relationship standards refer to an individual's expectations, values, and criteria regarding what is acceptable, desirable, or necessary in a romantic relationship. These standards encompass various relational aspects, including emotional, physical, and psychological needs. They guide how partners treat each other, what behaviors are acceptable, and what each person expects.

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When we fall prey to perfectionism, we think we’re honorably aspiring to be our very best, but often we’re really just setting ourselves up for failure, as perfection is impossible and its pursuit inevitably backfires.

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When asked if it was worth lowering one’s relationship standards on Reddit, one user said, “In the short run, I’m unhappy in the relationship. In the long run, I’m unhappy with myself.”

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Each of these strategies allows individuals to lower their standards in a way that helps them avoid immediate conflict but ultimately leads to greater dissatisfaction and harm in the long term.

However, it’s crucial not to compromise on fundamental values. Personal insecurities, such as low self-esteem, often drive people to lower their standards significantly, fearing that setting them too high will leave them alone or unloved.

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Rather than trying to change a partner who doesn’t meet your needs, it’s wiser to find someone you genuinely appreciate as they are.

When we fall prey to perfectionism, we think we’re honorably aspiring to be our very best, but often we’re really just setting ourselves up for failure, as perfection is impossible and its pursuit inevitably backfires.

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Relationship standards help individuals maintain healthy boundaries, ensuring their needs and values are respected. When these standards are compromised or lowered, it can lead to dissatisfaction, resentment, and potentially unhealthy relationship dynamics.

One common misconception that leads people to lower their relationship standards is the belief that they can change their partner. They may overlook negative behaviors such as inconsistency, emotional unavailability, disrespect, lack of ambition, or even dishonesty, and convince themselves that with enough love and support, their partner will eventually “come around.”

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People with an incremental mindset are generally more optimistic and supportive in relationships because they believe that, with effort, their partner can change negative behaviors. However, this mindset can also lead to unrealistic expectations, which might cause frustration and distrust when their partner fails to make the promised changes.

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Over the next several months, you will notice the removal of clinical surveys in the workflow and increasing real-time approvals. This has been done in an effort to streamline your submission process. You might also be asked to upload clinical at the beginning of the case submission process. This has been done to reduce outreach for additional clinical documentation.

A Reddit user shared, “I dated guy #1 for a year, then we broke up. I dated guy #2 for a year, then we broke up. I went back to guy #1 and had an on-again/off-again relationship for about three years. I would say I lowered my standards each time I went back to guy #1, and it wasn’t worth it. I kept hoping he would change and thought I could change him, but he didn’t do anything to help himself—so I left for good.”

Instead of settling for a partner who sees you only as a source of temporary support, it’s crucial to recognize your own worth and prioritize self-care, ensuring your needs are met. Practicing self-love liberates you from the need for unreciprocated love and empowers you to seek a relationship founded on mutual respect and shared effort.

While relationship standards are subjective and vary from person to person, one common reason for lowering them is to manage expectations within a relationship. Initially, you might have high expectations, but over time, you may realize that perfection is unrealistic and compromises are necessary.

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Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder.

A clear sign you’ve lowered your standards is when you’re always the one providing and putting in all the effort while your partner consistently fails to meet you halfway. This often happens when people sacrifice too much, neglecting their own needs in the hope that their love will eventually be reciprocated.

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Instead of acknowledging who their partner truly is in the present, they focus on their partner’s potential and invest in who they hope they will become.

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