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This is a Sanwu Laser Pointer. They’re almost twice the size of the Pocket, but for only $20, they’ll give you 200mW of power.

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“The power of the sun…in the palm of my hand.” Doctor Octavius wasn’t talking about the Spyder Arctic laser point, but he might as well have been. With a case that looks suspiciously like a light saber, the Spyder packs an incredibly powerful 2 watt laser beam that can pop balloons, burn wood, light a match, or blind a roomful of people.

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That was deeply disappointing. There are all these cool toys out there, and I can’t have one just because some jackasses aren’t responsible enough to use them safely?

magnification · ​[uncountable] the act of making something look larger. The insects were examined under magnification. Want to learn more? · ​[countable, ...

Now take a look at the Spyder again, back at the top of this article. Remind you of anything? It looks so much like a lightsaber that George Lucas threatened to sue. Here’s part of the Wicked Lasers front page — their marketing copy, if you will :

I suppose I don’t have a problem with responsible, mature, serious hobbyists owning powerful laser points. But take a second and look at this picture :

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First, the legalities. In both the US and Canada, you cannot sell or manufacture laser pointers that are more powerful than 5mW. In Canada, while you can possess a laser more powerful than 5mW, you can’t possess it in public…and if you’re within 10 kilometers of an airport, as most of us are, you can’t possess a laser more powerful than 1mW. That’s 2000 times weaker than the Spyder, and limits you to those little keychain laser pointers that you might have played with in the 90s.

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But we’ve still got the sky, right? Shining lasers up at the sky sounds amazing! And it can be amazing. It can also be a useful tool — astronomers use lasers to point out stars and planets (although they seem to get by just fine with 5mW lasers). But once again, shining lasers at the sky can be incredibly dangerous, because distracting pilots is a real hazard. That’s the main reason that powerful laser pointers are so heavily regulated in the first place. Astronomy societies seem to generally feel that only astronomers should be pointing lasers in the sky, that they should only do it well outside of flight paths, and that they should have another person watching the sky for planes and helicopters at all times.

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Let’s say that I had, in a fit of enthusiasm, decided to order one of these handheld lasers, and that it had successfully made its way through customs. In the sober light of day, I’d keep it in a locked box, and I probably wouldn’t even buy batteries for it. Used responsibly, these lasers can be relatively safe, but there’s far too much risk for a minimal payoff.

It gets worse. Sanwu is fairly ethical, shipping practices aside. Other laser companies advertise laser pointers that are under the legal limit and label their packages accordingly, but actually manufacture much more powerful lasers, sometimes up to 25mW. People who think they’re buying a legal, low-powered laser point can easily end up with something that’s 5 times as powerful, and vastly more dangerous, than what they expected…with no way of knowing it. Moreover, some of these cheap, relatively low-powered lasers actually put out a whole lot of extra infrared light, which can be harmful even though you can’t see it.

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Safety is a serious issue here. Goggles are just the starting point, but they’re an important one. Even with relatively weak 25mW or 50mW lasers, a laser beam reflected into your eye from a shiny surface can cause real damage. With more powerful lasers — Sanwu makes a gobsmacking 7 watt laser pointer, which is 7000 times more powerful than I can have in public — shining the laser on a wall and looking at the dot can blind you. That’s not the most likely outcome, because just looking at the dot is uncomfortable, and most people look away before any permanent harm is done, but these things aren’t toys.

So let’s say you’ve decided to break the law and risk losing your laser to customs. What can you actually do with it? Well, the first thing you can do is get a set of goggles, because these things are dangerous as hell. You need specially made laser goggles, not just sunglasses (which are completely ineffective), and while goggles aren’t cheap, they’re a lot cheaper than eye transplants. Of course, you have to make sure you’re getting goggles that work — not only do they only work for certain wavelengths of laser, there are plenty of dodgy, ineffective goggles out that. My research suggests that ThorLabs and Eagle Pair make good, reliable goggles…but do I really want to risk my vision on that?

OK, so you’ve shelled out a few hundred bucks to equip everyone with goggles. Playing with a laser inside is rather limiting, but you can always go outdoors and have some fun, right? Not so fast, buddy! If you’re using lasers outside, you run the risk of blinding strangers. A responsible laser owner will have to go to the woods, or the deep desert, in order to be safe. And even then, there are warnings about shining lasers on trees or bushes — not only is there a real fire hazard, you run the risk of blinding animals. I don’t know about you, but I sure as shit don’t want a blind owl or deer on my conscience.

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I quickly learned that the law isn’t much of a barrier. Canada Border Services is supposed to seize any illegal lasers that you try to bring into the country, but they don’t have a very good track record. Sanwu, one of the most reputable Chinese laser companies, simply labels their packages as “flashlight parts” — as long as you don’t ALSO order a battery, which would let CBSA test your laser, it should make it through customs just fine.

So what can you actually do with a powerful laser pointer? Not fucking much. Here in Canada, if I had gambled with CBSA, all I could legally do is use them in my house, while making sure everyone is wearing proper safety equipment and that my dog is in another room with a well-closed door in between. Even if I wanted to break the law and use a laser outside, there are vanishingly few safe options.

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I’m no pearl-clutcher, OK? Not only am I against the current push to tighten Canadian gun laws, I think there are a few ways in which they should be looser. As for Canada Border Services, I actually have a specific problem with the way they’re exceeding their mandate to ban the import of certain perfectly legal pocket knives. I don’t think that things should be banned just because they might potentially be dangerous. But when lasers this powerful are so cheap and so irresponsibly marketed, and Canada Border Services seems to be taking a lax approach to it, I get a little worried.

These are extremely dangerous tools that are advertised as toys, aimed at impressionable young men, and sold for pocket change. That worries me. I’d be fine with sober hobbyists owning these things, but there should be some kind of license system — right now, anyone with a credit card can order a laser from China that’s powerful enough to blind a dozen people at once.

But are lasers actually causing problems? Are planes being grounded? Are people being blinded? According to StatsCan, 1 in 200 Canadians experience some kind of laser-related harm every year, and only a quarter of those are a result of laser pointers. It’s not exactly an epidemic, but it’s high enough to be a concern. In the United States, no plane crash has ever been caused by a laser, but there were almost 10 000 laser/plane incidents in 2021, which is more than 40% greater than in 2020.

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My dad loves gadgets, gizmos, and oddities. Over the years I’ve given him a kukri, a lockpicking set, a metal detector, and a grappling hook. For his birthday this year, I decided to look into getting him a high-powered laser pointer. What I learned at first discouraged me, then excited me, and finally scared me.