DeSantis said a first-person account of what a Taser actually does to someone who gets "hit," to use local law-enforcement terminology, would provide a crucial angle to our coverage over the use of the Taser in Ingram’s case.

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Described as an "electronic-control device" on the company Web site, a Taser delivers a high-voltage, low-amp shock intended to temporarily incapacitate uncooperative suspects via a pair of darts connected by a copper wire to a battery pack that delivers a cycle of electricity. Invariably, news accounts focus on the Taser’s 50,000-volt output, but cops will quickly tell you the amperage, or the amount of electrons moving through the circuit they open by shooting the darts into you, is what actually causes the Taser’s incapacitating effects.

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But there is no being tough with a Taser. The pain inflicted is excruciating and nigh unbearable. My every muscle, so it seemed, was throbbing at a break-neck pace, like some horrific speed massage by needlepoint. My jaws and eyes clenched shut, though I’m fairly sure an involuntary "Uggggggghhh," escaped my mouth.

However, what they say about Tasers is true, in that once the trigger is released and the juice is off, the relief is immediate, and the searing pain is over. I barely felt the officers pull the darts out of my back and, as soon as they bandaged the small wounds caused by the darts, I was up walking around, notebook in hand.

When I was hit in the back, I think I tried to take a step, but the paralysis induced by the Taser was immediate and almost total. Robichaux said the bigger you are, and the more muscle mass you carry, the more the Taser incapacitates you. I am 5 feet, 10 inches tall and about 220 pounds, so I suppose that puts me about in the middle of the pack for the size of typical Taser targets.

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In fact, hours after the demonstration, I struggled to summon a physical memory of what the jolt from the Taser really felt like.

Prior to firing the darts, Robichaux had instructed me to try to walk to the opposite end of the mat, where he placed a rubber handgun replica, after I felt the darts hit.

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The "nonlethal" device pointed between my shoulder blades was, in short, a stun gun, manufactured by Arizona-based Taser International.

If I could have opened my mouth to say anything I probably would have begged them to drop me, since the only way to end the ordeal seemed to me to get to the floor as soon as possible. I imagine this is what makes the Taser so favored for dealing with fleeing or combative subjects.

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I was sitting in the Terrebonne Clerk of Court’s Office, sifting through a stack of legal documents for a story, and the first thought that crossed my mind was, "Well, all things being equal, I’d rather not."

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You would likely deem this a reasonable response. Though of course, this is not what I said, as you might have gleaned from the picture affixed to this story.

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I should point out that John was keen to volunteer himself for the assignment, but, due to medical complications, he was barred from participating by company management.

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So it came to pass that at 1 p.m. Tuesday, with two police officers supporting my arms and a blue padded mat stretched out on the floor of the Lafourche Sheriff’s Regional Academy to catch my soon-to-be prostrate body, I was bracing myself as Lafourche deputy David Robichaux stood a half-dozen paces over my right shoulder and aimed an X-26 Taser at the center of my back.

The darts remain embedded in the suspect -- as two small punctures in my back can attest -- until removed by an officer, allowing the shooter to continue to shock the subject if the officer chooses. A Taser can also be applied directly to the skin like a cattle prod for what police call a "drive-stun."

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To reset all of the device settings to the factory default values and save all user-entered information and activity history, select Reset Default Settings.

Robert Ingram, a 27-year-old Raceland cement finisher, died early Saturday morning after he was shocked with a Taser by a Lafourche Sheriff’s deputy following a domestic dispute between Ingram and his wife. Ingram’s family is certain the Taser killed him, though autopsy results are still pending.

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That’s not to say there are no lingering effects from Tasers. Apart from the small dart wounds, which are about 12 inches apart on my upper back, my back aches like I worked a long day of manual labor, and my legs are slightly shaky, as if I’d run a few miles. All in all, the result seems preferable to pepper spray, which would have likely left me miserable for hours afterwards.

"How do you feel about getting Tasered?" Acting Daily Comet City Editor John DeSantis asked me in a Monday morning cell-phone call.

I am a former rugby player who has broken bones, separated shoulders and split my head, nose and face open -- and, usually unwisely, stayed in the game. I don’t consider myself especially sensitive to pain.

While I may not be able to convince you not to laugh at such videos, I can say that I will never look at one the same way again.

Citing coroners’ reports in deaths associated with Tasers, the worldwide human-rights group Amnesty International has said the weapons can increase the risk of cardiac arrest in people with medical problems, under the influence of drugs or under high stress.

With no small debt to Andrew Meyer, the University of Florida student who gave the world "Don’t tase me bro" after his arrest at a John Kerry forum at the university, the Taser has extended beyond the realm of law enforcement into popular culture. There are hordes of Taser-related videos on Youtube.com, where more than half-a-million people have seen Meyer get shocked with a Taser as he struggled with campus police, and other viewers post comments mocking arrestees who get shot with Taser darts.

A transcript of my thought process while the juice was running would probably read something like "Owww, $*@#$%@, holy @$%$%$

The standard five-second burst Robichaux hit me with felt more like five minutes. And the intensity of the experience is such that the only coherent sentiment I recall is the observation that it was taking the two officers holding my arms what seemed like ages to lower me to the floor.

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