Air signs often find challenges the most interesting aspects of relationships of any sort. They’ll be wooed by partners or friends who keep them curious and also appreciate someone who is really great at conversation. Don’t be surprised if you hear an air sign saying, “Somebody talk to me, ask me a question, tell me you’re interested. What is the latest podcast you listened to or book you’ve read?” Silverman says.

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They’re willing to take risks when it comes to finances, occupations and projects, and they often value courage in themselves and others. If you’re a fire sign, you probably still love the things you bought on a whim—fire signs are not afraid to splurge, especially if an object inspires their spirit. But make sure you’re not too impulsive!

Witty. Social. Free-spirited. Intellectual zodiac signs. Air signs can be a touch flighty, just like the wind. Their heads are often in the clouds, thinking through solutions or pondering the future. “You’re influenced easily by other people,” Sparkly Kat says. “But you listen to others equally because you listen to everyone and have interesting ideas bouncing around.”

But don’t forget little luxuries as well: Massages, gourmet food and buying things on sale suit earth signs, Silverman says. That’s the kind of self-care that makes you feel right at home.

Earth signs take care of others, but they need to be nurtured as well. “They are sensualists that require pleasure with food, luxurious taste buds and a lot of chocolate,” she says. Beyond romance, every community needs level-headed earth signs to remember the details and to keep everyone’s feet on the ground—and every friend group or work cohort needs an earth sign to keep everyone on task and focused.

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You probably already know which astrological sign you are based on your birthday and can see yourself in the personality traits and characteristics of your horoscope. But did you know that you also have a zodiac element, based on your sign? The four zodiac elements—fire, earth, water and air—each contain three of the 12 zodiac signs, forming a sort of community, says astrologer Alice Sparkly Kat, author of Postcolonial Astrology.

What do they want from a partner? “Touch me. Remind me you care by bringing home flowers. Understand me even if I don’t talk,” Silverman says. And these homebodies crave “permission to stay at home in your favorite slippers!”

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When Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn get together, the chemistry is fueled by mutual respect for one another. With romantic relationships, earth signs will recognize in each other a steady realism that they can depend upon. But if you’re the partner of an earth sign, “don’t be late; say what you’re going to do and do it—follow through matters,” Silverman says. “And don’t get mad if the earth person notices everything you didn’t do.”

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Ahead, our expert astrologers share how the zodiac elements can help us understand not only ourselves but also how we relate to friends, romantic partners and coworkers. Read on to find your zodiac sign’s element and learn what it means for your relationships, values and self-care strategies.

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They can also be free as birds and need to be with partners who give them permission to change their minds and do life differently, she says. When it comes to social connections, air signs want to work for the greater good, and they love parties—even if they sometimes watch from a distance so they can think about what’s best for the group as a whole.

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Air signs tend to be anxious because they’re always thinking. Having someone to talk to, such as a therapist, can be helpful for them, Silverman says. They want to have approval, even from themselves, to “change without guilt so there is no judgment of being too fickle,” she adds.

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They’re detectives of the psyche and the soul. They make wonderful creatives, psychologists, marine biologists and tarot card readers. Water signs love beauty, art and anything that moves them. “Music, dance and art are high values,” Silverman says. “Family is at the center of everything, including their pets—how can we live without our four-legged family members?”

Of all the zodiac signs and elements, air signs yield wonderful teachers and party planners. Both activities cultivate community and allow air signs to express their passions. They can imagine a better world, and they are most fulfilled when they can get busy creating it. They want “change, flowing with the wind so that nothing gets stagnant,” Silverman says. They sometimes run the risk of too much detachment, so they value things that are truly meaningful or highly functional.

Imaginative. Emotional. Intuitive. Water signs flow just like their element. They are naturals when it comes to fluid motion as they go through their days. If you’re a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces, you’re likely very in touch with your emotions. “You want to be of service in some way toward your community,” Sparkly Kat says. “You’ll play an important role, but maybe you’re not the loudest voice.”

When it comes to astrology elements’ sentimentality, Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces take the cake. They have a reputation for being dreamy, but don’t mistake that for ineffectual. Water signs are intense and deep. They value “safety at all costs, so promises kept will keep the water person feeling secure,” Silverman says.

Aries, Leo and Sagittarius in combination create sparks. Fire signs make excellent duos in friendships, romances or any other kind of partnership. This is one of the zodiac elements that has adventurous, energetic relationships filled with passion—and they’re not scared of conflict. Fire signs “need a lot of attention,” says astrologer and psychotherapist Debra Silverman. “It’s not that they’re demanding; it’s just that they shine, dress up and are loud to create engagement.”

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Great self-care practices include puzzles of any kind. Focus can soothe an air sign’s racing mind, so watching documentaries, learning new topics, studying and reading books are favorite pastimes, Silverman says. They also appreciate calmness: Sitting outside in a cool breeze is an ideal way to relax. Or let yourself get swept away by music. Just remember to eat and hydrate!

If you’re a water sign, you may have a tendency to be overwhelmed by empathy. Boundaries are essential for self-care. Block off “you” time and stay committed to that space so you can recharge and renew. Water signs need to find ways to prioritize themselves, such as by enjoying a massage or concert, Silverman says.

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Even though they’re practical, earth signs also go big when it matters to them. They value sustainability and classics that endure, so they amass possessions that will last and luxuries that are worth the money because they were created with care. “Security, stability, reliability, money, success and prestige really matter to earth people,” Silverman says. “Don’t call them materialistic—even though they are.”

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If you’re an earth sign, you’re mindful of tending to others, but it’s also important to take good care of yourself by choosing a hobby that fits your zodiac sign. Gardening, in various forms, is an ideal pastime. Plant seeds. Get your hands in the dirt. Walk barefoot on grass and earth. “Getting outside in nature soothes their high-strung nervous system,” Silverman says.

Bold. Spirited. Passionate. Fire signs are fiery. They’re bright, artistic and intense. And they’re known for their confidence, especially when the going gets tough. “Fire signs want to think fast on their feet, and they don’t mind pressure,” Sparkly Kat says. You’ll find these signs are brave and independent. They’re filled with optimism and the kind of courage that fuels action.

Fire signs deeply value what makes them feel energized and enthused, and they’re often some of the happiest zodiac signs. “Passion, adventure, humor and full participation in this life,” Silverman says of what they value most. “In other words, they want to eat this life alive.”

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In fact, they may find inspired debate, what some would think of as fighting, totally exciting. “There is no fire sign that will ever tolerate boredom, so they might elicit drama to keep their life interesting,” Silverman says. Fire signs cultivate community through group projects, where they take the lead and inspire others to act.

If you’re a Gemini, Aquarius or Libra, your two favorite things are likely people and ideas. According to Silverman, they cherish “harmony at all costs—can’t we all just get along?—and embellishing stories to make them more interesting. Mental stimulation is essential.”

Grounded. Cultivated. Practical. Earth signs are definitely down-to-earth. They are the gardeners of the zodiac elements—and they probably think of everything as a garden, from their family to their friendships. Earth signs recognize that communities need care, tending and nurturing. “When you’re an earth sign, you want to build something slowly,” Sparkly Kat says. “You don’t have to see results tomorrow—you believe in the long haul.”

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Fire signs are literally in their element beside a campfire or candle flame, which may prove to be a great way to relax.

There are plenty of ways to de-stress based on your zodiac sign—and fire signs best engage in self-care through impromptu creativity. Pull out paints and create something vibrant and abstract. Sports with a competitive edge, even if it’s beating your personal best, are also enjoyable. Fire signs thrive with instinctive action. “It’s essential that they exercise, go for fast walks, turn up the music, dance when no one is looking and celebrate every chance they get—even for no good reason,” Silverman says.

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So why are certain signs grouped together, and how do you find your zodiac element? In the zodiac wheel, your sign, along with the the fourth sign to its left and right, make a triangle sharing the same astrological element. “The most stable aspect in astrology is the triangle,” Sparkly Kat says. This astrological compatibility is why the best friend for your zodiac sign often shares the same element as you—certain zodiac signs just go together.

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Are you fiery fire, grounded earth, flighty air or deep water? Discover the zodiac elements and what yours means for you.

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Each element shares certain attributes that link them together. But while the signs are connected to the positions of stars and planets, the zodiac elements are connected to aspects of our natural world, and they have more to do with the physical realm than the celestial one. Interestingly, the British royals’ zodiac signs don’t just influence their personalities but also predict that they are destined for greatness.

Water signs are very nurturing in relationships of all kinds because they’re naturally empathetic. They tend to have a strong intuitive sense of everyone’s emotional needs. Owing to their sensitive nature, it’s easy for water signs to form deep connections. They’re likely to respond if someone reaches out because it’s super important for them to connect and feel connected.

Things that can energize a water sign: hot baths, alone time, quiet, being surrounded by favorite people. Get yourself a luxury bath bomb, dim the lights, let the steam rise and take a long soak. You’re sure to feel rejuvenated. Of course, swimming or hanging out by the beach or a lake will also prove naturally soothing for water signs.

Earth signs value having their ducks in a row and operating from their center. They also care about details. If you’re an earth sign, you might remember everyone’s birthdays, know their favorite kind of cake and pick out the perfect gift for them.