Although you can’t see yourself in the experiences (MIRROR 1), your judgments are being reflected back to you (MIRROR 2).

Kohärenzgebot

One of the themes I’ve regularly returned to in self-reflection this year has been the idea of spiritual mirrors. No pun intended. :)

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If you’ve heard people say things like “If you don’t like your life, look at yourself because your life is just showing you who you are,” and have felt dissatisfied with this shame-inducing explanation, keep reading. There’s a whole lot more to the concept of ‘spiritual mirrors’ than this one limiting idea.

We can then use the information we receive to embrace or adjust (MIRROR 1), release (MIRROR 2), or reclaim (MIRROR 3), depending on which mirror is at play.

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Koherenzdefinition

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Without awareness of the third mirror, our feelings may appear to be all about them when in actuality, we’re being shown something powerful about ourselves: That we’ve given away or subdued our own bravery and courage and need to reclaim it.

The common understanding of spiritual mirrors is that what we experience day-to-day reflects back to us that which we are.

We typically don’t allow ourselves to fully examine the ‘why’ behind these feelings because our culture says it’s wrong to have them. But if we did, we’d be shown what we’ve given away.

Kohäsionsmittel

Think of a time when you’ve been powerfully drawn to or magnetized by someone in a platonic way. Social media actually offers us many third-mirror opportunities as we form bonds of admiration to those we only know from a distance.

He highlights the cruel undertones of this limited perspective of spiritual mirrors, noting that under its spell people tend to say things like, “If you don’t like your life, look at yourself because your life is just showing you who you are.”

There’s something so inherently shame-inducing about this narrow definition of spiritual mirrors. It lacks compassion, and offers a rather shallow, overly simplified explanation of the very complex experience of being human.

The idea removes some of those shameful, blaming feelings about attracting experiences that are deemed ‘unwanted’ by the mind because it offers the alternative explanation that perhaps the higher self has a far greater plan for us in those moments.

And then there are those days when we fly high and all sorts of beautiful serendipities and synchronicities are reflected back to us.

For instance, if you value integrity, honesty, and morals above all else but find yourself frequently encountering people who are untrustworthy and devoid of a moral compass, you’re experiencing the second mirror.

We come into this world whole and complete and yet through the years, we give pieces of ourselves away (both consciously and unconsciously) to compromise, to keep the peace, to fit in, to be accepted, to be loved, etc.

In romantic relationships, we feel strongly attracted as our partners reflect back to us what we’ve been missing until we begin to reclaim those parts of ourselves.

This is why opposites often attract. Because the other person’s qualities fill in the gaps and spaces within us that have been created through this process of giving away.

If you’ve ever felt powerfully attracted to another person despite being in a committed, happy relationship, this is an example of the third mirror at play. The person you’re attracted to has the quality that you’ve lost, given away, or had taken away.

We long to be complete and so we subconsciously search for the pieces of ourselves that we’ve lost throughout life in hopes of making ourselves whole again.

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Braden suggests that when we find ourselves powerfully drawn to someone—romantically or otherwise—we ask ourselves this question:

What is it that I see in this person or sense in this person that I’ve lost, given away, or had taken from me by those who had power over me?

Think of a person you’ve recently been strongly attracted to or magnetized by. Write to your intuition* (higher self) to answer the following question.

In his show, Missing Links (S3:E4), Gregg Braden talks about his own discontent with the ‘mirror of the moment’ theory that stemmed from the new age movement of the ‘80s.

Then, one fateful night earlier this year while watching a show on Gaia, I finally stumbled upon an explanation that rang true.

Little by little we drain ourselves of our true nature as we bend, mould, soften, and shape ourselves to fit the desires of others.

For instance, if we wake up in a grumpy state, we tend to attract unwanted nuisances and other negative experiences into our reality that day.

He notes that sometimes this is true—that our experiences merely reflect back to us that which we are. But goes on to propose that the ‘mirror of the moment’ is actually only one of three distinct mirrors of perception.

And when this reclamation happens, the attraction in a stable, committed relationship may fade or soften. Not because of anything the other person has done but because we’ve finally rediscovered that missing piece of ourselves within them and reclaimed it.

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When you find yourself wondering what the people and experiences you’re currently facing are trying to teach you by way of reflection, ask yourself these questions:

I sighed with relief a few years back when I discovered a teaching that suggested that we each have two points of attraction/mirroring—one through our mind (ego) and one through the higher self. You can read more about that here.

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What is it that I see in this person or sense in this person that I’ve lost, given away, or had taken from me by those who had power over me?